The Wide Lens of Motherhood: Love, Advocacy, and Belonging

By Gretchen Boger-O’Bryan, Content Director

Mother’s Day is often celebrated with flowers, cards, and breakfast in bed. Meant to honor the love, guidance, and nurturing that mothers provide, it is a time of joyful reflection and gratitude for many. For those who’ve lost their mothers, it’s a solemn day of remembrance and gentle caring for ourselves.

For those entrenched in the work of a CASA program focused wholly on vulnerable children living in foster care through no fault of their own – with their needs and best interests always top of mind – Mother’s Day has a multi-layered significance.

It should be no surprise that children in foster care experience Mother’s Day differently than peers outside of the child welfare system. Some children hold close memories of biological mothers from whom they have been separated; others long for a consistent, nurturing presence they’ve seen others experience, but have never known themselves.

As CASA volunteers walk alongside these children, advocate for their needs, and work to protect their best interests, they can become acutely aware of the fluidity that is the concept of “mother.” As a verb, the nurturing act of mothering encompasses a band of players beyond biology as well: foster mothers, kinship caregivers, mentors, and advocates who step into areas of those big shoes in unexpected ways.

At its core, Mother’s Day is a poignant reminder of the fundamental need every child has for love, stability, and belonging. Even the grown children we are, as adults. It’s a universal need.

And so there even are wraparound days built into the calendar – the Saturday before is Birth Mother’s Day, the first Sunday in May is Bereaved Mother’s Day – and each serve to address in some way the powerful impact of motherhood in its myriad forms. Some sweet, some bitter, some arms are full, others hang empty, wishing for pockets in which to rest the restless. 

No day will ever mark exactly the experience of a mother – or her child – and the circumstances that surround their presence (or lack thereof). But we can try. So can you. 

We can all remember that at its core, there is fluidity in the verb that is mother. Indeed, nouns are important and will always have a fundamental place in the village. But noting the actions taken, whether small or bold, by people surrounding one whose mother story is atypical, is an opportunity to honor all those who offer patience, protection, and unconditional support. 

Mother’s Day invites us all to reflect more deeply. It challenges us to think beyond our individual experiences – the good, the bad, the sad, the happy – and recognize the broader human need for nurturing and connection. While traditional motherhood can be cherished, there are countless others embedded in our communities who are also embedded in the hearts of those who need connection. They verb-mother in different ways, as teachers, mentors, friends, CASA volunteers, social workers, neighbors, and even friends’ mothers who open their arms a bit wider to welcome in whomever is standing alone amid swirling social posts of adoration, flower deliveries, Instagram moments, and brunch reservations. 

Those who provide emotional safety and support change lives. The day of the mother is what we make it, and invites us to celebrate caring in its many unique and powerful forms. It’s a day to express gratitude for those who nurture, advocate, and love — whether in a child's home, in the courtroom, the classroom, the community or quietly behind the scenes — to ensure that every child, especially those in foster care, knows they are seen, valued, and worthy of belonging.